Many of us have heard about the television show, “Bridezilla,” which promotes itself as a show “where brides go from sweet to certifiable.” The brides on the show unleash their inner diva on everyone from family, to friends, to vendors. Even the grooms do not escape their wrath. These brides unleash their fury for everything from someone being two minutes late to learning that they cannot get a cake as large as the reception hall. Their demands are often times outrageous. They get so consumed with perfection that any minor mishap is seen as a threat to their happiness. They become self-centered, and even their groom cannot calm them down. In fact, sometimes the grooms are even excluded from the planning process and everything is about the bride. This show is hilarious to watch, but do you really want to have a meltdown on your wedding day? Do you want to go into your wedding with everyone mad at you? Here are tips to help you tame your inner bridezilla and be relaxed on your wedding day.

1. To avoid panic and confusion, start planning your wedding at least 9 – 12 months in advance. This will give you enough time to attend bridals shows, weigh your options, find the right caterers and wedding planners, as well as ensure that you have everything in place at least 1 month before the wedding date.

2. I know as first-time brides we prefer to handle every detail of our wedding, but this can become overwhelming. Delegate some of the responsibilities to the maid of honor, mother, close friend or relative. Give them the specifics of what you want and be open to some suggestions. Never shut out your mother or in-laws in the planning process.

3. Hire a bridal consultant and a wedding coordinator. This will save you a lot of headache. Find someone who you can work with and that will bring your vision to life. Start researching for consultants and coordinators in your area; attend bridal shows and ask around. Take note at weddings you attend and find out who the consultant and coordinator was. Interview your potential consultant or coordinator to ensure that they have the capacity to handle your wedding and pay close attention to their willingness to go the extra mile.

4. Remember that the wedding is not just about you. The wedding ceremony is about you and your future husband, and that the reception is about your guests. Plan accordingly.
5. Involve your fiancé in the planning process – it’s his wedding day too. Do not take the approach of “me.” Instead, keep “we” as the focus. The more you do this, the more you realize that things will run smoother.

6. Have back up plans. If you wanted the church that your mother got married in and it’s not available on your wedding day, do not panic. Find a church that is similar in structure and beliefs and have your wedding their instead. It may not be what you wanted, but it may be the next best thing.

7. Be polite to everyone you have to deal with – from your wedding party to the caterers. They are the ones that will help you bring it all together for a memorable wedding day. You boss them around and they’ll surely become miserable and hesitant to assist you.

8. Check your demands. Sometimes we want things we cannot even afford or things that are not available or seasonal. Make sure your demands are within reason and that you express clearly and politely exactly why you would prefer a particular thing; maybe there are alternatives that can be considered. For example, if you wanted fresh lilies and lilies are not in bloom, then consider artificial lilies.

9. When something was not done that/how you requested, repeat your instructions clearly and politely. Then ask for clarification in order to clear up any misunderstandings.

10. If things start getting really stressful for you in the days leading up to the wedding, hit the gym or take up boxing to manage your stress. Most of all, ask for help if things are becoming overwhelming and let your groom deal with situations that are stressful to you.

If you are relaxed and confident on your wedding day, it will result in beautiful photos, wonderful memories and happy guests. Have a beautiful and stress-free wedding.