Many couples today are now opting to write their own wedding vows in lieu of or in combination with the traditional vows. However, some find writing their vows intimidating and/or difficult. Some people say it’s simple, just speak from your heart, but do you really want everyone at the reception to know what’s on your heart? And what about those last minute jitters?

If you decide to write your own wedding vows, here are some tips to help make the task easier:

• Check with your wedding officiant to ensure that it would be acceptable for you to personalize your vows. Some churches prefer to stay traditional, and do not allow couples to recite their own wedding vows.

• Coordinate with your fiancé to ensure that both persons would write their vows. Decide if you will work together and share the written works before the wedding day.

• Ensure there is nothing too personal in the vows. Some things are better left in private.

• Look at past letters and photos to reminisce on your dating experiences. Some of these will make great wording for your vows.

• Think about some of your favorite works of poetry and what you like about them.

• Stay positive and focus on the good times and the things you love most about your fiancé; when you first knew you wanted to marry them or how you first fell in love.

• Keep it honest.  Avoid making up stories that you most likely will not remember on your wedding day.

• Talk to someone who knows both you and your fiancé, and ask them what they like about the two of you as a couple; you would be amazed of how you could be inspired.

• Let your maid of honor or best man look over your vows (a second pair of eyes is better).

• Practice! Practice! Practice!  Be sure to finish your vows a few days before the wedding so you’ll have sufficient time to practice.

• Give a copy of your vows to your maid of honor or best man in case you have last minute jitters.

In lieu of writing vows, some couples decide to sing songs that express their love towards each other. My husband sang as I walked down the aisle and I recited vows. Choose whatever best suits your situation and/or abilities, and whatever makes you comfortable. It’s your day.